We’ve previously talked about dating someone with no hobbies but we haven’t looked at dating someone with no common interests.
Common interests are things that you’re both engaged in or actively pursue such as watching sports, playing games, going to the gym, going to the theatre, and basically anything else you might do for enjoyment.
These “interests” typically define who you are as a person and can be strongly rooted in your overall persona meaning they can also affect how you interact with potential partners.
But is sharing these interests needed between you and your love interest or is it better to keep these things separate?
In our opinion, you can date someone without common interests and in fact, we believe it’s actually healthier to have some time apart from each other to keep things fresh and to keep conversations more stimulating.
Let’s take a look at how this might apply for you including looking at some of the reasons why we think so.
5 Reasons Why Having Separate Interests Can Make Sense
1. Time apart can help you miss someone
The good thing about dating someone without any shared interests is that when you’re apart, it gives both of you some valuable time needed to “long” for the other person — in essence, you’re more likely to miss someone you don’t see all the time.
In fact, if you’re both used to seeing each other so much then it may be hard to break this cycle at first, but rest assured, you’ll both get over this given enough time and it can really lead to positive improvements within your relationship.
As a caveat, we don’t think spending all of your time apart is healthy, however, there’s nothing wrong with having your own interests that are separate from your lover’s.
2. It gives you more to talk about
Have you ever found that you are your partner have very little to talk about?
You might even find you’re both sitting staring at your phones or getting mesmerized by Netflix instead of being able to have an engaging conversation with each other.
If so, having some time apart or being able to engage in separate interests can actually help to stimulate discussion between the both of you.
If you’re always with each other then it’s unlikely you’ll have much to say because you’re probably doing or witnessing the same things.
We recommend starting slow at first where you both spend at least a few hours throughout the week, whether on one day or spread throughout the week, where you’ll both actively engage in separate pursuits.
3. You’ll rediscover what you love about your partner
When you’re preoccupied with a separate activity away from your partner, it can really help to highlight all the things you love about each other.
Most interests and activities are spent with other people, and although you may like these people, they simply can’t replace the person you’re dating.
You’ve probably chosen your partner for who they are and that includes all the little nuances or detail in their personalities, including some of the aggravations too.
When you’re away or spending time with others, it can really help to put all of those things into perspective and may help to reignite what you love about your partner so much.
4. It helps you both bring different solutions to the table
If you’re both skilled at different things then you might find it actually helps in tricky situations where you both need to put your thinking caps on.
In essence, having multiple skills rather than the same ones can ultimately lead to better problem-solving for those tougher moments in life and that’s exactly why you don’t want to underestimate the power of having separate interests.
A good example is when you need to do budgeting or planning, if someone knows how to work with numbers then you’ll be able to forecast your spend easier.
Conversely, whereas one person might be good with numbers, the other might be good with meal prepping or cooking meaning you can both have an efficient eating plan for the week.
5. You’ll both have a more effective friendship network
This point is similar to the last: By having a wider range of friends from different backgrounds and skillsets, it’s more likely you’ll be able to increase your overall efficacy as a couple in different aspects of life.
For example, if one of you is into horse-riding then there’s a good chance you might know someone who is good with animals and thus, might be able to get advice if your pet is sick or if they need looking after when you’re on holiday.
Having different interests means this “capture all” effect of being able to find different friends with different skillsets is amplified and there’s a better chance you’ll be able to save yourself some hassle in future scenarios.
FAQ: Popular Questions Answered
Can you love someone you have nothing in common with?
Hopefully, our article will have shone a light on some of the advantages of having a partner who doesn’t have much in common with you, however, it’s important to address this question that keeps getting asked: can you love someone you have nothing in common with?
To answer the question, you can most certainly love someone you have nothing in common with and that’s because we should celebrate our differences, not be held back from them.
In fact, if you look at it from a survival point of view, having a partner who has different skillsets and interests to you is actually advantageous as it means you’ll both be able to combine your mixed knowledge for extra effectiveness when challenges arise.
As a caveat, if you have nothing in common and that’s exacerbating the effect of spending too much time apart then that can certainly be a cause for concern.
Before going down the road of ending a relationship with a person who spends too much time away from you doing what they love, try explaining that you need more time; even if it’s for an hour or two each day, that can really help to make a relationship feel more complete rather than being so one-sided.
Is it okay to not talk to your boyfriend everyday?
This depends on what type of relationship you have, for example, if you’re in a long-distance relationship then it might be a little harder to speak every day, however, it doesn’t take much effort to send a simple message as a measure of courtesy and out of respect for your partner.
If you know you’re not going to be able to get in touch for a certain period of time then it would be prudent to advise them in advance so they don’t worry and so they know why you can’t speak to them.
As a caveat, if you’re both comfortable without speaking throughout the day then we don’t think there’s too much to worry about, however, this could be a sign that you both need to get out more and find some activities to help stimulate conversation.
You can definitely date someone without common interests and realistically, it can actually be advantageous as it means you both have a mixture of skills you can bring to the table.
We don’t think you should put too much pressure on each other about having the same interests, however, we do think that spending quality time together is important to keep the relationship going from strength to strength.
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If you think you and your partner would enjoy doing something together then why not check out our huge list of hobbies for inspiration?